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babies Cora courtney Cuba the kiddos twins

10 Months Old

Today the girls are 10 months old. The time has actually gone by very fast and when I look back it’s mostly a blur. It’s no secret the last 10 months have been geared toward survival and nothing more. We’ve done a lot more then survive. We are alive and thriving.
cuba
cora
The girls are full into solid foods, there are few things they won’t eat. Some favorites at the moment are peas and chick peas. I give them defrosted whole peas and canned chick peas (I pinch off the skin). They are really into feeding themselves. We are also mobile, and in completely different ways. The girls mastered sitting and have quickly moved on to exploring. Cora was the first to venture out in an army style crawl-she is fast. Cuba just today started to do a sort of scoot crawl. While sitting up she leans forward and pulls herself forward with one leg and her arms. It’s pretty interesting to watch. She hates being on her tummy so it’s no surprise she came up with this way to get around. Cuba also loves to pull up on anything that will get close enough and stand still long enough. They’re both waving and Cora claps whenever you say Yeahhhhhh with a huge smile on her face. It’s insane how much they’ve changed just in the last month. Everything just kicked in, they went from being a wee bit behind to being right on track. Cora has 3 official teeth and 5 more breaking through. She hasn’t been too fussy, but we have been using a good bit of ora-gel and motrin. Cuba on the other had still has an empty mouth. I hope the poor thing doesn’t end up with them all at once. Cora is sleeping through the night, she goes down around 7 and wakes around 7. Cuba is another story all together. Ever since she figured out how to sit up, she does it the moment you set her down. She ends up falling asleep in a sort of yoga position and still wakes up at least twice a night. They were both sleeping through the night for a good bit but like everything child related the moment you get used to something it changes. So sleep for me sucks. I just keep thinking – that and so many things will get easier when they’re weaned. Our worlds are going to open up. Every twin parent I’ve encountered says the same thing…”it gets easier when they start walking”. We are so close I can taste it…

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babies Cora courtney Cuba mother twins

Small wonders

Today the girls gave me a gift…they took a nap. Not just any nap, a two hour in their own beds nap! And last night they went to bed around 7:30pm and didn’t wake up until 1:30am. I fed them and they were out until 6am. Can you believe it?! I’m not expecting any of this to ever happen again. I am only thankfull it happened at all.

The clouds in my head seem to be clearing and I feel like I can breath again. It’s changed my perspective and how I go about my day.

I’ve been trying to get the girls to eat avocados, in an effort to increase the size of their chubby baby thighs. They weren’t real big fans, until I read this. It opened up a whole new world. Today we blended up some bananas with an avocado and Cora gobbled it up. Cuba is still not a fan, so tomorrow I’m going to try another combo.

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A day in my life…

Going to the play ground
the kiddos

Most days it happens like this. I feed the girls then hurry to shower while they’re content. Then I dress the boys, this particular morning Aidan decided to fall asleep like 3 hours before his normal nap time. I stand for a minute wondering if I should wake him or skip the playground. the girls Then the girls start to fuss and I think waking Aidan is worth getting out of the house. Having made the decision I go about dressing him and guess what he never wakes up. By this point the girls have really lost their patience and are screaming. I put them in their seats and realize they need socks. While searching for socks Aidan wakes up unhappy-joy. I find socks, pack every thing up, and start to head for the door when I smell that horrendous yet familiar odor. the kiddosAidan’s battle with the potty continues. So I put everything down and change Aidan from head to toe. Everyone’s crying and losing their minds but I solider on. Get every one in the car then out again. The moment feet hit the sand it’s a brand new shiny world. It’s amazing what a difference sunshine and fresh air makes.
the kiddos

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Breaking down and moving on

If you’ve been reading any of my post lately I’m sure I come across a bit ehh I don’t know…frustrated, sad, overwhelmed and lately I have been all of those things. Months of inconsistent sleep and burning my candle at both ends have helped me slip into a bad place. I’ve been trying , since the girls were born, to do it all-by myself. Life has let me know in no uncertain terms that this is not possible. I need help and lots of it. The people around me think I have it all under control and I have to let them know, I don’t. Well I should say I don’t every day. I have good days when I feel like I’ve got things all tied up, but mostly it’s a spiraling out of control mess (or at least that’s the way in looks from here). A lot of things outside my small world are also going wrong. You know that saying God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle, well lately I’ve been wondering if maybe God got me confused with someone else. That really sums it up. I don’t like being here. I want to be positive and enjoy my family and life. That’s why I’m writing about it here. I seem to be able to work things out when I write, so I’m going to write. Write and write until I feel better.

I also realized I never wrote a 6 month post about the girls. They’ve just discovered each other. It makes my heart swell when they look at each other and smile. They make each other laugh and give kisses. It’s amazing how gentle they are, reaching out to touch a cheek or grab a hand. Not to say they don’t accidently pop each other pretty often. They’re getting so strong and are so close to sitting up. Cora rolls all over and often sleeps on her tummy (which freaks us out). Cuba’s babbling is starting to sound like mama and baba (which I think is her way of saying Bub-who she loves). They’re eating solids about twice a day, we’re working towards a third. Rice cereal is just about the only thing they don’t like (and formula). I’m still feeding them at the same time and they’ve gotten much more patient with me and taking turns. They are still growing slow but steady. This is why I’m working towards the third solid meal of the day because I don’t want to cut back too much on nursing just yet. I’m not going to talk much about their growth, while I have been assured over and over that they are two very healthy girls, I’m still working through my doubts. They spend much less time being carried around these days. I sit them in their bumbo seats with a bin of toys between them and can usually take a shower (bringing them in the bathroom) or get dinner started while they play. We’re still working on sleeping, both naps and night time change from day to day. No teeth yet, got no problem with that. The longer they’re toothless the better for my boobies! I get asked often if they are identical or fraternal, we think fraternal. Really it doesn’t matter much to us , it doesn’t change anything either way. But for being fraternal they are so similar in their development. A small difference in their weight and height, but every thing else has been the same. Rolling over within minutes of each other, babbling the same day, although they do babble in different ways. I don’t plan on putting much emphasis on them being twins as they grow. They’re sisters that met each other before we met them, which is special for them, but has nothing to do with them as individuals. One of my favorite things to do with them right now is holding them right after nursing. Their cheeks and noses are pink and they’re a little milk drunk. They ‘re so happy, holding my face with both hands giving baby open mouth kisses , in between me covering their little faces with kisses. That’s what I love best right now, kissing their pink checks.

This is the hardest but most rewarding time in my life.

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Aid babies Bub Cora courtney Cuba Ev mom mooshoo mother the kiddos twins

Self-Doubt

Thank goodness for lactation consultants. Over the past few days I started to freak out over the girls. They’re not sleeping enough, they’re not gaining enough, there’s something wrong with my milk…you know a few of the many things mom’s constantly think they’re doing wrong.

We’re in the process of getting the ladies to sleep alone in their room, and while the process is not easy, it is going well. I think they may be close to sleeping completely through the night because I have been waking them to feed them. I wasn’t sure if I could let them go more then 5 hours with out eating. My girls are petite, and that makes me nervous. I’ve been reassured by their pediatrician that they’re doing well, right on their own little track, but every time I’m out and about and some one says “wow they’re so small” I feel less assured. Until this morning…this morning I talked to a wonderful woman who told me several times in our conversation how good I was doing. She was able to see the girls’ charts and said they are doing very well, I’m doing everything right. She explained that breastfed babies do not always gain an ounce a day; it is more common for them to gain 4-6 ounces a week. But more important then that is that they continue to progress. It is also good to look at the whole picture, are they happy, are they meeting normal milestones. She also feels very strongly that someone needs to develop a breastfed baby growth chart. I think that would be helpful in addition to a twin growth chart. But then again that’s where the problems begin…making comparisons, when each child (even twins) grow and develop at their own rate.

I breastfed the boys and they’re still alive and thriving, I don’t know why I got so nervous and off my game. I need to stop taking what strangers say to heart. A grain or two of salt would do me well. I’ve had my weight in self-doubt lately. Lack of sleep, and hormones are making me crazy!