Ok lets start with 10 years…almost 10 years ago I gave into the strong voice that called me west. There was something waiting for me in California. I didn’t know what but I knew that it was where I needed to be. My life was waiting. I drove three thousand miles to share an apartment with a guy I never met in person. I waited tables, bartended and sold clothes to survive. As the growl in my tummy got louder the voice that called me here got softer. It became a whisper that I fought to hear.

Then I got a good job, no more selling clothes to quiet the growling tummy. It took me 4 hours every day to get to this good job from the apartment I shared with a guy I had never met in person. Four hours every day got old and expensive fast. So with shaky legs I cut that commute to 15 minutes with a giant leap into the city. A big city, and an apartment with two guys I didn’t know. (don’t know what it is with guy roommates). Everything quickly fell into place, good job, full tummy, comfy place to lay my head close to good job.

Then my life became perfect. I met Daniel, and he introduced me to Evan. Ahhh Evan, charming, handsome, striking blue eyes. There’s some lyrics from a song called 10,000 Things by Jason Mraz that…

“Well I’ve seen a thousand things in one place
But I stopped my counting when I saw your face
Erasing memory I feel as though I’ve never seen a face before
Until I saw your eyes smiling back at me through my tears
I’ve been counting all these years
Now suddenly the thousand things I’ve seen were
Nothing more than dreams of you and me”

Yeah the moment was pretty much like that. He took me to a beautiful spot and asked me to be his wife not long after this first meeting. I bet you can guess that I said yes, so here we are. 9 years, many adventures, big moves, little moves, some pets, and craziest of all – 4 kids later we are celebrating the anniversary of “when ya know ya know”. He is the love of my life, he was before I met him. God made him for me and everything I did, every decision bad and good lead me here.

That strong voice I heard almost 10 years ago wasn’t calling me west, it was calling me to Ev. I think if we hadn’t met when we did, it would have happened eventually. We would have found each other. I’ve said it many times before…I am truly blessed to have the life I do and to share it with the man I do. I will spend the rest of this life and next making sure he always knows just how much I love him, how much he is appreciated.

Happy Anniversary Evan
Here’s to a wonderful 9 years and many many more!

A few years back Ev & I bought a juicer. We used it a lot at first but eventually it found it’s way into a dark corner of a cabinet and sat lonely as years quickly passed. Recently I came across and decided to pull it out and dust it off. After looking beyond the recipe book that come with it I’m finding I enjoy juicing much more then I did before. The internet is proving to be a pretty awesome resource for juicing recipes and info. I’ve learned a lot more about food and the effect each has on our bodies. Juicing, even when I only do it once a day, makes me feel good. I mean really good, like I saw a difference in my energy level and mood good. So good that I don’t mind the clean up after ward. I strongly recommend it to anyone looking for a little extra something in their day. I wish I could get the kids into it…they see what goes in the juicer and refuse to even smell what comes out.

So what’s with the juicing….well there’s been a lot sadness around here lately. It feels like a big rain cloud over a pit of mud that I’m stuck in. I walk around with the thought “what does it matter any way” in my head most days. Those thoughts and feelings don’t make me the best person I can be. So I decided to get healthy in body and mind. I started with my diet, a close friend of mine who looks amazing let me in on a little secret. Well it’s not really secret more of a “duh, I knew that but was in denial”. Her looking amazing almost 33 year old wear a bikini at the beach after three kids secret…counting calories. It’s like a diet but really its not- because really –it’s a whole relationship change with food. You can still eat everything you want, as long as you don’t go over what you’ve decided is your calorie in take for the day (be realistic and healthy in that decision). I realized one thing right away…portion control. Did you know that if you ate half a cheese burger meal now and then the other half later your body would process if different then if you ate the whole thing at once(not that splitting it up makes it ok to eat junk-just a good example). When you over eat your body goes into store mode and starts packing away the fat. I’ve decided that is something I would like to avoid. I also make better choices, healthier things have less calories (for the most part) which means you can eat more. Fruit and veggies are my friends, they always have been. When I was little that was all I ate, literally. I refused red meat and chicken on the bone, which while I was growing up were my main choices. I just needed to get back in touch with them. It’s amazing the wealth of energy and patience that come from eating right and drinking plenty of water. Two things I could use a stock pile of.

You can’t get healthy by just changing your eating habits…it’s only half the equation. You have to get moving. Get your heart rate up, blood pumping and in the best situation get plenty of fresh air. I don’t have a solid work out plan yet. I haven’t been consistent, which means I haven’t found something I enjoy doing yet. I think that’s the key to keeping with it…you have to enjoy it and you have to have variety. I’ll let you know when I figure out something that works…then I‘ll let you know when I change it….haha.

I haven’t figured out the mind yet either. That one’s going to be a bit harder. I need some goals and some things to look forward. Coming up with those things, I think will start me in the right direction. Everything that’s been happening around us has me taking a hard look at myself and how I’m living my life. I realize with everything passing year I am a stay at home mom my money making skills decrease. What if, one day I need to support my family…what would I do. That freaks me out. I need a skill, a profitable one. Even if I don’t use it I need it to feel secure. So how do I get it? Well I’m working on that to. Lots of things floating around in my dusty skull, hopefully I’ll be able to share them with you along the way.

I can not believe it’s already June!? Time just seems to move faster and faster, even the slow lazy days don’t go as slow as they used to. Things in the mooshoo house, like time, are just flying along.

Lennox finished preschool and is now officially a kindergartner! He is so so excited and I’m not so so so excited… well part of me is. Part of me is excited for this time to start for him, part of me knows he will do wonderful, be extremely charming and have a million friends. Part of me knows all the worries I have will seem small and silly. You know that part of you that worries that kids will make fun him, he will get hurt feelings and I won’t be there to make them go away. That part of me that is afraid after all our hard work and therapy his teacher and classmates will still have a hard time understanding him. And because of this he will finally get frustrated and start to withdraw. Those parts keep me up at night. Then the other part of me that knows it’s all worry for nothing, and he will be fine. He will grow and thrive and be the amazing person I already know.

Aidan is also starting his path to school, officially a preschooler! He will finally have his own friends, and make memories that have nothing to do with me. He will learn to trust people outside his family. He is going to explode in preschool. He loves people so much, any people, all people, just give him people! Like Lennox I think he will have no trouble in the friend department. Having the opposite of shy kids makes life so much easier…esp when making this transition to school. That first day he will kiss me goodbye and not look back. And that’s ok because that means I’m doing something right.

The ladies had their first hair cuts today. Cuba was awesome; she sat very still, so still the lady actually cut layers in her hair. She was amazing! Cora wasn’t a fan at first but quickly got into the groove and was super happy to receive a sucker at the end. They both look so cute. Cuba has a short bob with short bangs. Cora’s got short bangs to, but because her hair is wavy it doesn’t really look like a bob. They are just adorable. It’s amazing how much they are changing, every morning they look more grown up. Chatting up a storm and repeating just about any thing you ask them to. They let me fix their hair and love to play dress up. Grandma Cindy got them some princess shoes and it took them no time at all to figure them out (they have to fight Aidan for them). Girls are so different then boys. We have also started the potty training process, slow and easy. They just sit on the potty every night before getting into the bath tub. Its fun and they have actually gone a few times…I’m pretty sure more good timing then anything else. It’s insane to think being diaper free is in my not to distant future! We have come such a long way from dragging the hiking backpack every where to now just taking a few diapers, wipes and sippy cups. Soon I will be diaper bag free!!!

More soon…

I’ve rediscovered a lost love…bike riding. Oh how I love riding my bike. It makes me feel like a kid again. It’s so calming, cool air rushing by as I peddle faster and faster. I haven’t gotten on a bike since the summer between my freshman and sophomore year of college. I used to ride daily; using a bike to get back and forth to work; then I got hit by a car. That ended my love of riding until just recently when Evan suggested we start riding and get a trailer for the kids. I was so nervous, thinking maybe I’d forgotten how to ride and then there was the pretty enormous fear of cars. I got going the wind in my hair and it came rushing back. Oh I love it. I took the boys out in the trailer for the first time tonight, it was awesome. They weren’t hard to pull at all. We’re hoping when the girls are big enough they’ll ride in the trailer and boys will ride they’re own bikes. I am so looking forward to family bike rides. Everyone has fun, and it’s a wonderful release for me. Speaking of release I’ve started the Shape magazine bikini body count down.

I have no hopes of wearing a bikini at the end of the 5 month program but I am hoping to tighten up, maybe even shed the rest of this baby weight. I’ve done two days of exercises, they’re hard and my body is feeling the burn. I am so out of shape. I so need to stick with it. I’m tired of being fat. So tired I even bought some of those 100 calorie snacks in hopes it will fill my need for sweets. I have one every night after the boys go to bed, my treat. I look forward to it all day. Eating has become a way I deal with stress. Things get hairy (daily) around here I run for the panty. Not really helpful with the whole tired of being fat thing. Maybe all the exercising and many bike rides will help with my stress level and that will help me to stop stress eating on top of stopping my body from stress storing. Lower stress=happy kids that sleep well (wishful)=sleep for me (wishful)=weight loss=happy mama! Eh we’ll see.

Oh and I’ve started walking again too. I love walking almost as much as bike riding. I throw one of the ladies in the Ergo and everyone else in the triple jogger and off we go for an hour. We usually end up at the playground. Things are starting to look up. Exercising makes me feel normal, I need it.

To Ev and Me

7 years have passed so quickly.