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Self-Doubt

Thank goodness for lactation consultants. Over the past few days I started to freak out over the girls. They’re not sleeping enough, they’re not gaining enough, there’s something wrong with my milk…you know a few of the many things mom’s constantly think they’re doing wrong.

We’re in the process of getting the ladies to sleep alone in their room, and while the process is not easy, it is going well. I think they may be close to sleeping completely through the night because I have been waking them to feed them. I wasn’t sure if I could let them go more then 5 hours with out eating. My girls are petite, and that makes me nervous. I’ve been reassured by their pediatrician that they’re doing well, right on their own little track, but every time I’m out and about and some one says “wow they’re so small” I feel less assured. Until this morning…this morning I talked to a wonderful woman who told me several times in our conversation how good I was doing. She was able to see the girls’ charts and said they are doing very well, I’m doing everything right. She explained that breastfed babies do not always gain an ounce a day; it is more common for them to gain 4-6 ounces a week. But more important then that is that they continue to progress. It is also good to look at the whole picture, are they happy, are they meeting normal milestones. She also feels very strongly that someone needs to develop a breastfed baby growth chart. I think that would be helpful in addition to a twin growth chart. But then again that’s where the problems begin…making comparisons, when each child (even twins) grow and develop at their own rate.

I breastfed the boys and they’re still alive and thriving, I don’t know why I got so nervous and off my game. I need to stop taking what strangers say to heart. A grain or two of salt would do me well. I’ve had my weight in self-doubt lately. Lack of sleep, and hormones are making me crazy!

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