All day long I compile posts in my head. I work through it over and over in hopes of coming up with something as fun to write as it would be to read. Since I started writing here my mind is rarely silent. So many conversations with myself. Yet when I sit down to pull it all out, my inspiration is gone. My need to share and create dwindles dramatically after the boys go to sleep and I can finally sit down to compose my thoughts. Instead I sit and let the TV rot my brain-really helpful for my motivation right?

Last night I put Aid down early and had the opportunity to lay down with Bub while he fell asleep. I haven’t got to do that in a very long time. Since Aid arrived I handle him (since I have the boobies) and Ev takes care of Bub. He’s such a big boy. Snuggling there in his comfy bed surrounded by sounds of waves crashing I thought my heart might explode. I think he is the most amazing child, so full of life and charisma. He is an endless world of energy with big blue eyes and strawberry curls. I am just in awe of how amazing and beautiful he is. In awe of what the love between Ev & I created. I laid there thinking about him as a baby, how cute and intense he was-still is. I love to day dream of how he’ll grow, what kind of person he’ll be. What will he be into…will he always be so extraverted…I think he’s going to have lots of friends and probably be very popular with the girls. But I’m sure all moms of boys think/wish this of their sons. Laying there beside him studying the still delicate features of his face, he whispers “luv u ma”. It brought tears to my eyes because almost daily I consider myself so lucky to have been blessed with two perfect boys. And there is nothing like hearing those three little words from your child, this little person you created. It reminds that I am a huge part of his world and how lucky it is to be me. I’ve decided to do this more, lay down with him till he falls asleep. Soon he will push me away and I want to have lots of perfect memories to hold on to till he pulls me in again.

And something completely unrelated…Does anyone else have this problem…I can’t seem to find a graceful way to put Aid down in his crib (which is part of the reason why he sleeps with us still) I always end up plopping him down, and of course that wakes him up. Even with the front gate thing down I still end up dropping him in. So is there some secret trick no one told me…or is that my torso just isn’t long enough…or maybe I’m just not tall enough at all. Please tell me if any of you have any tricks to make this more graceful-or at least commiserate with me.