I just finished indulging in one of my guilty pleasures…Laguna Beach. The last episode, everyone leaving for college. I remember how that felt. The fear, excitement, homesickness, the courage that came from finding independence. It makes me think of my boys. One day they will grow up and leave to make lives of their own. Knowing that day will come makes my heartache. Makes me want to get them out of their beds, squeeze them and cover their little faces with kisses. I’m torn between knowing that it is their right to find their place in this world, and wanting to keep them close to me. I can’t imagine how my parents felt the first time I left. That makes my heartbreak too…knowing now how it feels to be a parent. Some many things you can’t understand until it happens to you. How do I give them space when they need it? How do I let go and be happy that I raised men strong and secure enough to go out on their own? I guess like everything else so far it will just happen and I won’t know until it already has. Its crazy loving someone so much it hurts…loving them with all that you are…then being able to love just as much-just as strong when another one comes along. You wouldn’t think we could have that much love hiding inside just waiting for little ones to be born. The love a parent has for their children is like nothing else in this world. If only we could bottle it …the things it could fix.
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