Category: friends

I’m not really sure where to start…I’ve had so many thoughts for posts…Guess I’ll start with the boys…
Well Aid had his 4 month well baby visit last week. He’s 15lbs 9ozs and 25.25 inches long-growing right along his progress line. He can roll like a pro-he’ll roll across the floor before you can blink. He’s a chatter box too…so much to say-and so animated. We practice sitting up and he can sit (when balanced) for a minute or two. He is very strong and turning into quite the character, and boy does he love his older brother. Now one can make him smile or laugh more then Bub!

Bub is talking! It’s like he woke up a week ago and just decided “hey you know what I think I’ll talk now” words just come out of nowhere and new gestures too…like when we walk through parking lots or cross streets he puts his hand out towards the cars and says”Stop” don’t know where he learned that. He says “mine mine” all the time. Everything is his- including Ev & I…I think he learned that one from his cousin Jack 😉 He is an amazing big brother-he’s so gentle and loving with Aid. He tickles him and Aid laughs so hard..Bub is the only one that can really get him going. He has started taking things away from Aid, but he gives them back-sometimes without being asked to. He picked out his own Halloween costume, he’s going to be a cow. He tried on everything in the store and got a little over stimulated-but settled on the simple cow. He likes wear it around the house so I had to put it away-keep it nice atleast until Halloween. It’s amazing the little person he becoming, changing everyday.

Ev got into a little car accident. He was actually very lucky, from what I hear it could have been very bad. The passenger side tire rod snapped and he hit a guard rail. Luckily is was later in the evening and there wasn’t much traffic. He came out ok but was very sore the day after. The cougar on the other hand was not so lucky. It suffered a lot of body damage and is going to cost more to fix then it’s really worth, so it’s going to the salvage yard. It’s sad. This was the car Ev & I went on our first date in. It just seemed to soon-taken too young. We used to say that it would be Bub’s first car. Crazy how things can have such an impact on your life…because that is really all it is-a thing-but somehow over time the thing becomes part of your family.

Child rearing questions for all those experienced parents…the boys will be sharing a room soon and I’m wondering
1. Good ways to move Bub to his big boy bed?
2. While making the transition should we take the crib out? Only to put it back in when it’s time for Aid to sleep in it?
3. Any helpful hints-hind sights from those whos young ones shared a room

I’ve been doing pretty good with the anger issues. I haven’t been able to make it to the library or join any mom groups-but thinking about it and doing small things to elimate frustration has helped tremendously. Also finding out how common my feelings are and how NOT alone I am helps. Talking to moms that I have a lot of respect for and finding out that they too have struggled with similar feelings makes having the feelings seem less big-less embarrassing. I’ve tried to talk more with close friends. Even if it’s not about any of this-just connecting with them seems to help. It’s so easy to get lost in daily routines and realize wow it’s been months since I’ve spoken to another adult other then my husband and had a conversation that didn’t contain kids or bills.

Another wonderful thing has happened…our neighbors I lovingly refer to as the Bobos are moving!!! One more week of nosey loud mouth bobo mom and annoying ill mannered bobo kids. It will be so nice to not have them always walking across our yard right in front of our front window and now having bobo kids always playing around our cars (resulting in lots of scratches) We will be able to play out in the front yard without being over taken-we can wash our car without being over taken. No more visits 10 times a day for no reason making the dogs go crazy – waking up Aid resulting in us putting a sign on the door saying “Please only knock or ring door bell if there is an emergency, baby may be sleeping” in other words leave us alone! Let’s just put it this way we won’t be having any tearful good byes.

Life is good

I haven’t been able to make it to the library yet… but I’ve done some things all on my own. First I thought about what things put me over the edge…

1. Bub whining and squealing
2. Feeling like the house is out of control – lots of laundry and dishes needing me
3. Lack of Sleep

Now what can I do to get rid of, remedy, or make less of these things. ..

1. Bub & I are learning sign language so we can communicate without getting frustrated (he is just beginnning to talk but still gets very frustrated when I can’t read his mind). We’ve already mastered “more” and “food.” 🙂
2. Do a little everyday… set goals like today I will get the dishes done and put the laundry away. So at the end of the day when the house is a mess atleast I accomplished my daily goals.
3. Work on getting Aid to sleep in his own bed. Which means I must make myself stay awake and put him back in his bed after he eats. This should mean more sleep for both of us.

I have also taken measures to rememdy Aid’s recent fussy streak… no more caffeine – lack of sleep=1 cup (one cup only) coffee = fussy baby; not worth the caffeine! Also no more soda – I have a new addiction.. diet caffeine free pepis. The fizz could mess up his tummy. Same with dairy, so I gave that up too. 2 days without any of those things down and it has made a difference. He’s much less fussy; less crying is always good.

I got to talk to Pip today… Pip is one of my oldest and dearest friends. She and I were pregnant at the same time our boys are 2 months apart. I don’t think I would have made it through my first year of motherhood without our walking talks. She is such an amazing person to have as a friend… so smart and unique, has a huge heart and is an excellent mother. She is just fun to be around and interesting to talk to. I miss her very much! She has entered a new place in life; that is both scary and exciting. I don’t worry about her though because she has gotten to know herself really well and is very insightfull. Life is going to be good to her and take her exciting places – that’s just the kind of person she is 🙂 I just hope some day life brings her closer (geographically) to me again!

Nuwanda had an excellent post recently that I would like to copy…
Quick list of what’s right in the world
Some things I’m grateful for tonight:

Both my boys are happy and in bed by 9pm.
I made it through the day without losing my temper.
Ev finally finished his site redesign-which is amazing by the way 🙂 he’s so talented.
The house is messy because I have a healthy, happy, crazy two year old.
I reached my goals of putting away laundry and doing dishes.
I got to talk to Pip.
My husband also still finds me attractive… even unshowered in a spit up covered shirt.
Pepper is sleeping on one of the good couch pillows and I don’t care. 🙂

This week went by fast…two of our very favorite friends from San Diego came to visit Monday 🙂 It was an exciting time-first because we haven’t seen them in over two years…so they hadn’t met Bub or Aid. Second because it was M’s birthday so we got to celebrate that and the fact that her and R are prego! Couldn’t be happier for them. They are going to make such amazing parents and boy is their baby going to be long. They are both rather tall. M&R were our first couple friends as a married people. We used to go out to dinner and a movie with them all the time…it was like we were dating 🙂 They are so nice and easy to talk to. They spent the night Monday and we ended up all talking till very late. It was hard to let them go home 🙁

Then tonight one of Ev’s co-workers/friend was having a poker birthday party. It was really fun we all went..they have two boys-2&3-and yes 13months apart and she actually wants to have more…but they are two wonderful and well behaved boys. Bub had a great time with A the oldest. They played and played, then took a bath together and A even wanted Bub to spend the night. It was so cute and amazing how well they got along. Their house is amazing-very kid friendly! So I actually got to relax a bit eat and socialize. Usually going to dinner parties is very stressful and something I avoid, because you spend the whole time chasing the kids and don’t get to enjoy the company or dinner. But tonight was a welcome change! That and Ev’s friend and wifey are incredibly nice people also very easy to be around. They are both really smart-wifey speaks 7 languages! Their boys speak 3! It was just a really great night 🙂

It was a nice break from the trouble I’ve been having…I’ve been struggling with some anger issues. Just out of curiosity the other night I did a google search “postparum anger” and actually found quite a bit about it. I always thought of postpartum as being sad..unable to get out of bed-don’t want to take of the kids-want to hurt them or myself… But it can actually be many different things and manifest itself in different ways. For me it seems to be in my anger management. I get really angry very easily and have acted very much the way I don’t want Bub to act-throwing tantrums. Then afterward I feel extremely guilty and mad at myself for losing control. I don’t think I would ever phyiscally hurt my boys but I’m afraid my yelling will hurt them mentally. It definitely isn’t teaching them the proper way to deal with stress or frustration. I’ve actually been doing very good with keeping control lately…when I feel myself reach the edge I think about how horrible I feel after I lose control and can step back long enough to pull the anger back. It’s amazing how common this is and I actually plan on doing some reading and joining a support group. I want to educate myself so I can write more about it here. Maybe be able to offer support to other woman who feel this way. It’s hard enough just to deal with these feelings then to also feel like the feelings are bad and something to be ashamed of-something you don’t talk about-because no one can know you aren’t perfect. I think maybe these feelings are natural and the reason once it was very common to raise your family near your extended family-so you had help and could take breaks. It’s like God did not mean for us to do this alone. We are supposed to have our moms-moms-in-law, sisters-sister-in-laws around…we are all supposed to help eachother. The support of other women we love and trust is very important. Women need to talk and support eachother more in general…stop competing. Anyway I’m going to the library this week to get some books…so I’ll share what I learn. I used to be embarrassed about my anger but now that I’ve admitted it’s a problem and am doing things to fix it I don’t feel so bad. I’m not perfect-no one is.