Dear Aid
Why oh why must you flip, flop, smack, kick, and pull my hair while you nurse. It would be so nice and considerate of you to SIT FRIGGIN STILL! Really if you don’t you will soon find yourself wrestling a bottle instead of the ninnie (our term for nursing).
Why aren’t children born with logically reasoning…sure would make life easier. And while we’re making life easier in the parenting department -I think they should also come with some kind of “you are doing things correctly in raising them” indicator. It should be in the middle of their foreheads with red lights for when you do something wrong and green for when you’re doing well. That way you know for sure nothing you’re doing will mess them up some where down the line….or make life harder for you…maybe it could even have digital numeric codes…like if you see 02 flashing that means all the bribing I am doing is making them spoiled-which will soon result in frequent tantrums and break downs in public.
I mean really I thought a bag of goldfish here…cookies there would just keep Bub busy while I shopped-you the extended shopping like for clothes or groceries. But now he expects something every time we go any where-even the hardware store. So now I’m dragging my feet down the rehab trail and just dealing with the tantrums that result from gimme denial. If only he had that indicator…