Lately life has left me drained. Problems with boys and just general not sure what direction I want to go in has kept me from really doing a post. I was- I felt really getting into this whole blogging thing. Participating in things like MamaSaysOm and Self Portrait Tuesdays. Reading other blogs…and commenting. I guess really trying to reach out, make a place for myself. There are so many things I want to do. I want to spend more time working on my mamasaysom and self portrait submissions. I want to read The Artist’s Way and join in. I want to sew and draw and paint huge canvases like I used to. I want to shoot lots of pictures of my boys and fill the walls of my home with beautifully artistic shots of them. How do you other mamas do it. I have such a hard time keeping up with the regular stuff that’s there’s no time for anything extra. How do you do it? When do you do it? I keep thinking that when they are a little older there will be time for things like art and reading (well reading something other then how to get my kid to sleep or stop biting me books). Maybe I just need to take a hard look at my day…rearrange-maybe there’s more time then I think in between the laundry and toys. Moments like right now are so rare in my life. Both boys asleep in their beds. I just don’t make good sleepers. Speaking of thanks again to everyone who offered their experience and advice. I checked out all the books suggested and have read 2 of them(how to talk and happiest toddler). I found lots of helpful things for dealing with Bub, but not so much with Aid. I read the no cry sleep solution with Bub and pulled it back out with Aid, but it just isn’t working (didn’t work for Bub either) I think I’m just going to have to give in and say this is my life for now. I won’t get a lot of sleep but he’s only this little once. When he’s five I will look back(as he waves goodbye on his first day of school) fondly on these days and laugh at how upset and lost I felt. My heart will ache to for this time. I think I will write that really big and put it up on my mirror. I definitely need reminding. I’m sorry for the rambling but that is where I am at right now-all over the place. Probably why I haven’t written or participated-I have no focus.