My house has been turned into snot factory-too bad you can’t sell the stuff. Everyone is sick and it’s no fun. Bub sounds like a frog so we’re going to see the doctor today, I’m sure he’s just going to tell me we have to wait it out but I’d rather be safe then sorry. Poor guy he’s pretty miserable…but has been being really well behaved considering. He’s still spewing new words everyday…or maybe it’s more understanding what he’s been spewing all this time. I certainly do feel silly when my 2 year old talks to me and when I don’t understand looks at me like “what is your problem, I’m speaking english” He’s got such an imagination too. The newest thing is looking for things like bugs and snakes. When finds these imaginary creatures he brings them to me, petting and cuddling the air over his half open palm. He’s a very loving little man.

Then there’s Aid-who also has a cold. He has decided sleeping is unnecessary, and would much rather grunt, fuss and cry all night. I think it’s a combo of a cold and teething. My quiet observer has become a clingy ball of discontent. I wonder if him being on the verge of crawling is another factor in his not sleeping. Sometimes milestones disrupt sleep right?

Ev has been working really hard on freelance stuff and taking turns with me at night, so he is past tired. He’s been very patient though. He offers help before I ask for it-which seems small but is a big gesture in keeping me sane. We women always over think everything…and asking for help tends to send me into a myriad of moods and emotions. I often expect Ev to be a mind reader and anticipate my every need…not on purpose of course-but I am crazy after all. He really amazes me on a daily basis…like with all the complaining I do, I wouldn’t blame him if he put the boys in day care and made me go back to work. But he doesn’t. Nope instead he’s incredible supportive and listens to all my ranting and raving in tears at 3am. I wonder does this craziness brought on by motherhood ever lightening up a little. It’s just insane to know your being crazy but also to be unable to control or stop it. I used to get embarrassed at my outbursts and breakdowns, but I’ve had so many that now we don’t even talk about them. I just move on and hope that the next moments will go better. I don’t live day to day- I live moment to moment.

So above was really supposed to be about Ev but I’m too self absorbed these days…everything comes back to me. How everything and everyone effects me. It’s mostly been in a negative way…like the boys are sick so being sleep deprived has made me sick and I might not get to go to Ev’s holiday party-which I desperately want to go to. (what I baby right?!)It’s hard to let go of a chance to socialize and eat with out the boys. Don’t get me wrong I love them dearly-but I do EVERYTHING with them. When you do everything with someone they tend to get on your nerves from time to time, and you don’t appreciate them as much if you don’t have the distance to ponder all their wonderful qualities. I really have just been in a mood…not a totally bad mood but definitely leaning more towards bad then good. I’m not into the holidays and feel like I’m going through the motions. It’s just a weird time. And yes I’m writing this while the TV baby-sits the boys and 8 loads of laundry take over the kitchen.

Here are my factory workers

Yes above he is in time out…

Pep isn’t making any snot but she sure does look sad in this picture